seventeen. anonymous blog. guaranteed written posts about the things that happen around and to me. i also write about occasionally inconsequential thoughts that run through my brain.
As you can tell from the title, I am finally watching Ed Sheeran play live next year. I’m extremely excited. I got my sister to line up and buy tickets for me and my friends since we couldn’t cut class. It’s definitely worth freaking out during a class.
In other news, I’ve just finished downloading season four of Suits, seasons one of Breaking Bad and Downton Abbey and the first two episodes of How To Get Away With Murder. I haven’t started on Breaking Bad and Downton Abbey because I know I’m going to get sucked into their worlds and completely forget about the overwhelming amount of readings and papers I need to do. I have, however, finished season four of Suits and How To Get Away With Murder… and here are my comments:
How To Get Away With Murder
Anyway, that’s my recent lapse in productivity. It may have messed up my school plans for the weekend but it was very much worth it.
I just received a question on my main blog about how the whole college experience is. This got me to thinking about my usual answer of how fun it is and how I get to meet loads of cool people. And how I get to learn a lot from my professors and all that. The more I thought about it, the more I’m convinced that college is actually pretty scary.
I mean, it’s practically the transition stage from being a teenager to being an adult. In just one and a half year, I’m graduating and I’m going to have to face reality and that is scary. I’m not ready to be an adult. Also, as kids, we usually don’t really think much about the future. Like, obviously, we think about what we want to be and all that but when you’re done with college.. that’s it. Not like when you finish kindergarten, you know that you’re moving onto elementary and then high school and then college. I guess once you leave college, it’s all about improvisation? You have the idea of what you want to do but you also have to keep in mind that anything could happen. Being the kind of person that is more comfortable with having set plans and knowing what to expect, the future pretty much scares the shit out of me.
In this period of my life, I honestly do not have any idea about what I really want to do. Sure, I have a dream of going to law school and taking the bar but I’m aware of the enormous possibility of me not being able to pursue that. My degree is International Relations and to be honest, I’m having a kick out of it. At the same time, this degree does not really give me a leverage in the job market. It scares me that even if I’m just in my second year of college, I’m already worrying about the possibility of unemployment. I know I’d have a better chance at securing a job if I moved forward to graduate studies or law school. But I can’t always rely on my parents for financial support. I don’t have the skills to actually survive law or graduate school.
My procrastination skills have gotten so better that I don’t even know how to finish this post.
But yeah… that’s my mid-procrastination epiphany. The future is scary and seems to be all about improvisation. College is the final stage of my teenage years. I am not prepared for adulthood and the horrors of reality.
One step at a time, oh dear self. Finish the overwhelming amount of readings and papers… and cross that bridge when you get there.
P.S. THERE’S A CHANCE I’LL BE WATCHING ED SHEERAN FOR MY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!
P.P.S. Also, I’ve finished saving up for The 1975 and The Vamps. Happy days!!
Once again, I have completely ignored this blog for three weeks. I figured it was time to put up another update (
despite the fact that nobody’s actually reading my posts). My last post was about how overwhelmed I was with university and basing from my apparent lack of updates, it’s safe to say that I am still quite overwhelmed.
There hasn’t been a single day in the week where I’m not doing anything for school. My three day weekends are spent reading huge stacks of readings, writing papers and sleeping (if I’m lucky enough to get any). I don’t hate it but I do wish I could get over the adjustment period. I’ve actually put my highlighters and scratch paper to good use. It’s come to that point that I’m asking for printer ink, bond paper and highlighters for Christmas. University is taking over my life full time but I’m happy that I still get to hang out with my friends as we all wallow in our school-induced misery.
What else is new with me?
I have the house to myself this week and I’m hoping my mom will be back by Sunday. I stupidly watched the horror film Annabelle with a friend the other night and needless to say, I haven’t had a decent sleep since then. My overactive imagination is betraying me with sounds of footsteps, white and black shadows at the corner of my eyes and other nonsense. I really am hoping my mom is back this Sunday because I honestly can’t handle another week alone here.
With that, I’m planning to go out tomorrow and pack my laptop and all my readings to do some schoolwork at a nearby shopping centre. The fact that I am more productive and concentrate better with school work in a public setting baffles me. We all have our eccentricities, I guess.
This post is actually just complete nonsense and should have been better, given my fantastic title, but my vocabulary has been exhausted.
I shall now attempt to finish reading and writing notes for three chapters for a class. Wish me luck, Internet world.
Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of readings I would be facing throughout this week. It’s only the second day of the new term and I’ve already got a paper due on Thursday and about eight to ten readings to be finished by Monday. I seriously regret not getting any breaks this term because I am absolutely certain that mental breakdowns are going to be my weekly visitors. I’m taking four major subjects this term and two floating classes. My professors for majors are damn intense. I even got called out by one earlier today in International Political Economy for smiling. He said it was distracting him and that I shouldn’t smile. What the actual fuck. Of course, I was pretty rattled and humiliated when he made me interpret a comic cartoon depicting free trade agreement between Mexico and the US. Obviously, I answered it wrong but I refused to give the satisfaction of seeing me fazed by his attempt at humiliation.
I have never felt so unprepared in my life. Reading through the syllabus and seeing all the requirements needed is just incredibly intimidating. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the end of this term. I do know, however, that I would be kissing the Dean’s List goodbye.
As usual, I am heading off to bed without having anything accomplished from my to-do list. I’m dead beat and to be honest, my brain cells could use some regeneration.
i wish i was a cute youtuber but im boring and bad at everything
Yes, I am very much alive (… and slowly being overtaken by acne, yikes!). I survived finals week and the emotional scarring of the release of grades. As of now, I am on Day 8 of hibernation, otherwise known as term break. I only have three days of freedom before I’m back to the bustle of college life. I’m starting with my majors already, something I’m very much terrified of. My grades aren’t so good. My GPA went down. But I am slowly developing an air of nonchalance towards my schoolwork. Something that I hope would not bite me in the ass later on.
As I’ve said, it’s my term break and I have spent it like a true student bum, desperately clutching on to sleep and binge watching episodes of Friends and Orange is the New Black as I happily munch away on countless slices of pizza and spicy chicken wings. I have not left my bed before 2 pm since last week, with an exception of going to the mall to pick my friend up for a sleepover. We had a lot of fun binge watching the second of season of Game of Thrones (loser that she is, she hasn’t finished the whole series yet) and actually sharing a deep conversation at midnight and ended at 4 am. It would have been perfect we had some mary jane but we can’t have everything in life. That was some serious discussion about insecurities, hopes, fears and dreams. We were so hardwired, we ended talking about Machiavelli, Hobbes and the nature of man at one point.
Nevertheless, this one week of peaceful rest and bum life shall soon come to an end when my parents get back on Saturday.
I’ve lost my train of thought for this post due to my friends’ incessant requests to play Kim K.
Today is a holiday so I got a break from my exhausting classes. My dad arrived last night and after more than a year of not seeing him, mom and I definitely missed him. Of course, my parents decided to spend the holiday shopping for chocolates, food and a year’s worth of toiletries so I was unable to start on the five papers due next week.
Aside from the overwhelming amount of papers I need to bullshit before the weekend ends, I received an email from the executive committee of the country’s model congress. It turns out I was accepted as a delegate together with 399 others. It’s open to high school and college student leaders nationwide and I was informed that they received more than 1,000 application forms. This is actually a huge surprise due to several facts:
In any case, I got accepted and I am definitely very happy. I hope this gets the ball rolling.
Anyway, finals are coming up next week and I have make-up classes tomorrow and on Saturday which sucks ass. I have five papers to write, one being a final paper about Game of Thrones and Machiavelli, and a final exam for spanish. I really hope motivation finds me so I can work like a robot until I finish everything. I just need to get through the next 7 days as productive as ever.
I shall attempt to start on one paper tonight and hopefully finish all before the weekend closes.